He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm (Proverbs 13:20).

There are no real biblical directives concerning small groups or discipleship groups.  Some churches may make it seem like there are, in a well-intended attempt to plug parishioners into their small groups / communities / home groups / life groups / fusion groups / whatever-they-might-be-called... But the truth is that there's no sort of biblical equivalent to, "Thou shalt participate in thine church's small group system."  I've looked.

Even so, the Proverbs regularly make the point that community life is good for the soul.  We need to have other people meaningfully involved in our lives, so we can comfort each other, advise each other, instruct each other, and help one another grow wise.  Like it or not, we are influenced by the people with whom we surround ourselves.  For better or for worse.  For myself, I know that community has made all the difference in my life.  Through community, I was given a fresh vision for what the life of faith could really mean.  Through community, I was challenged and encouraged to overcome life-long patterns of sin and self-destruction.  Through community, I learned how to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Through walking with the wise, I've grown wise (and am still growing wiser).

Yes, there are other aspects of the life of faith which need to be considered, such as personal devotion to God and living on-mission... We ultimately need to balance knowing Jesus, becoming like Jesus, and making Jesus known.  So certainly, I would stop short of telling people that our church's smaller-scale communities are some sort of spiritual requirement.  But there's certainly some wisdom in seeking out community.

In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality (Proverbs 12:28).

If it were up to me, I'd want nothing more than to be a writer.  If I were financially independent and free of all other responsibilities, I would embrace an existence of traveling the world, writing about the meaningfully instructive and the touchingly happenstance... I've had different dreams throughout the years -- to be an ambassador, or an advertiser, or a documentary producer, or whatever -- but it seems to me that the most complete and mature rendition of these motifs is to simply be a writer... A storyteller.

Sometimes, I try to think of what it might look like or feel like to "make it" -- to "go big-time," to be recognized by mainstream popular culture, to have a book at the top of the New York Times' list of bestsellers.  But I just don't see it happening anytime soon.  I guess I don't want it badly enough... except that I do want it very badly.  I just feel stuck between desires and realities.

Western popular culture tells me that I must "go for it."  That I must abandon myself to my dreams.  That I will go to the grave with deep regrets if I do not give it a shot, at least.  That I'll always wonder "what if."  That I am a pansy and a loser if I do not put it all out there.  That I owe it to myself and the world to just try.  That if I don't shoot the ball, I will miss the basket for sure.  That no one will write the biography or shoot the film featuring the life story of a man who paced himself well, who lived a decent life in relative obscurity, who was "dependable," who died with a few beloved family and friends to mourn him... or, alternatively, if this vanilla fellow were to feature in anyone else's book or movie, it would be as the wimp, the naysayer, the one to be pitied, maybe even the villain.  Yes, the world tells me that I will only benefit from giving it the ol' college try -- somehow, someday, someplace...

But I wrestle with this.  I mean, what if the realities are all pretty much in place?  I'm not saying that it would be impossible for me to become a career writer.  In fact, I think it could be entirely possible to become a writer... or a millionaire... or a movie star... or the President of the United States... or whatever!  I'm just not sure if it's worthwhile.  I mean, what would it mean for my wife, if I were to pursue my dream of becoming a writer?  What would it mean for my children?  What would it mean for my friends in Amsterdam?  What would it mean for the calling that I feel God has placed on my life?  I feel like I might be able to attain my dreams -- but at what cost to me and those around me?  Sometimes it occurs to me that the "pursue your dreams at all costs" way of thinking might actually be a selfish way of thinking?  Consider:  Lance Armstrong overcame incredible odds to pursue his dreams and win an unprecedented seven victories in the Tour de France -- preserving a legacy in the sport of cycling and a personal financial future (I'm a big Lance Armstrong fan, by the way).  And I know what Lance would say on the motivational speaking circuit -- that you've gotta go for it, that nothing can stop you -- but does he say that to himself when he sits in front of the mirror at night?  Would he do it all over again?  Would he trade his wife (divorced) and kids (estranged) for seven Tour de France titles?  I've got to wonder... Could it be that we're marinated in the "go for it" / "pursue your dreams" culture simply because it is perpetuated by people who have "gone for it," who have "lived out their dreams" to become celebrities and leaders and motivational speakers who now depend on this message for their daily bread and their own sense of self-worth?

I think most of us struggle from time to time with this quest for immortality.  We want to reach for the stars, but we don't want to sacrifice the ones we love the most.  For me personally, I've gotten to the point where I think I'd like to tie up all the ambitions for fame and "success" in a neat little bundle to be thrown on the fire to warm me in my "normal" existence.  But I still worry that in so doing, I'm throwing away my immortality.  Proverbs 12:28, however, offers me hope, saying that "In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality."  Jesus also challenged us similarly:  "Don't rejoice that the spirits submit to you (or that your life-long dreams come true), but rejoice that your names are written in heaven" (Luke 10:20).  I need to "seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to (me) as well" (Matthew 6:33).  Truth be told, I'm pretty curious to know what that kind of immortality really looks like and feels like... But I guess I'll have a long time to figure that out, if the promises of Proverbs 12:28 hold true.

The LORD abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight (Proverbs 11:1).

What's the big deal with God's concern for business ethics?  In Proverbs 11:1, it says, "The LORD abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight."  In Proverbs 16:11, it says, "Honest scales and balances are from the LORD; all the weights in the bag are of his making."  And in Proverbs 20:23, it says, "The LORD detests differing weights, and dishonest scales do not please him."  The point is plenty-clear, I guess.  But why?

Honesty is important in all aspects of life, certainly.  Business included.  But I can't help but wonder if this point is so heavily reinforced because of something bigger than business.  Something related to human identity, more than human behavior.

I don't want to submit too many of these things to conjecture, but I wonder if Proverbs 11:1 (and Proverbs 16:11, and Proverbs 20:23) might be more about equality than about business practices.  Could it be that God is primarily concerned with leveling the proverbial playing field -- trying to get us to see the people around us as He sees them, instead of through our culturally-imbalanced filters?  We seem so susceptible to judging different people by different standards, based on ethnicity, nationality, socio-economic class, level of education, or whatever random socially-determined criteria might come into play for a given population.  But God doesn't see us that way at all.  We treat people differently, depending on our particular "sort" of the "spreadsheet" of humanity.  But God does not.  Romans 3 explains, very clearly, how all of humanity has the same level of righteousness (or lack thereof) in God's eyes.  God is the original equal-opportunity employer, offering every human being "his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."

Towards the end of the Bible, we are similarly challenged, "as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ" to not show favoritism.  James 2:2-13 says, "Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, 'Here's a good seat for you,' but say to the poor man, 'You stand there' or 'Sit on the floor by my feet,' have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? ...If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it... Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!"  And in effect, it seems to me that Proverbs 11:1 offers us a similar challenge:  "The LORD abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight."

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked (Proverbs 10:11).

Because I have pale skin, greyish-blue eyes, brownish-blondish hair, and a medium-tall build, I can blend in pretty well on the streets of Amsterdam.  Depending on what I'm wearing, I can come across as a pretty convincing Dutchman, in spite of the blue American blood running through my veins.  It's been this way since Day One of living in the Netherlands, and I've enjoyed this element of camouflage throughout my years on this side of the Pond.

Especially in the early days (though sometimes even still), I liked to play a sort of game in which I would attempt to conceal my American identity for as long as possible.  How far could I get -- in the grocery store, at the restaurant, on the tram -- before my hand would be tipped and my identity would be revealed?  I quickly learned that the less I opened my mouth, the longer I could perpetuate the perception that I was a "Dutchman."  Even when verbal exchange was inevitable, I learned that accent is much harder to detect in the simple utterance of a "Ja" (Yes) or "Nee" (No).  Given enough time, enough words, enough context, however, I'd always get found out.  Even today, after seven years of living in country and learning the language, developing a relatively proficient sense of grammar and vocabulary, I just can't fool a true Dutch person.  It's my mouth.  My accent.  The mouth always gives me away.

The same principles can be applied, not just to situations involving nationality and language, but also to situations involving rigteousness and wickedness, good and evil, integrity and corruption.  The mouth always gives it away.

Appearances can be so misleading and incomplete.  Someone might have the look of someone trustworthy or someone shady, and he might be able to maintain such a vibe for some time, as long as he doesn't have to open his mouth.  The illusion can even be continued, as long as interpersonal connections can be limited to "yes"s and "no"s, superficial and shallow.  But real character is revealed through extended, in-depth interaction.  With more time and a wider range of experiences, the truth always reveals itself... through a person's mouth.  The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.

Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you (Proverbs 9:8).

Everyone makes mistakes.  Everyone needs to be corrected sometimes.  But how?  And by whom?  And under what circumstances?  There are, of course, no easy answers to any of these questions.  But Proverbs 9:8 does offer some useful advice for those situations when a bit of correction -- or rebuke -- might be needed...

First of all, who is the person needing correction?  Is he or she generally a mocker -- tending towards sarcasm, unchecked display of emotions, mean-spirited attitudes and actions towards others, chaotic behavior -- or generally wise?  If you purely had to guess how the person might respond in times of correction, this is usually a pretty good indicator.  Would you guess that he's going to fly off the handle, throw a temper-tantrum, start spewing counter-accusations back in your face?  Then you're probably dealing with a mocker.  Or would you guess that you'll be able to have a reasonable conversation that, though momentarily difficult, will ultimately serve to build your relationship?  Then you're probably dealing with a wise person.  We're far more intuitive on these things than we usually give ourselves credit for.  When you're dealing with a mocker, there's very little hope that a rebuke will make any bit of difference in their behavior -- so a lot of times, you're better off saving your breath.  But if you have hope that a well-considered rebuke will create better understanding, better interaction, and a better relationship -- then it's worth going for it, no matter how uncomfortable it might be in the short term.

Secondarily, it seems to me that there are also times where correction is required, regardless of how the affected individual will respond to it.  Think, for example, of a drunk driver -- who not only endangers his own life but the lives of countless others as well.  And in these cases, Proverbs 9:8 simply reminds us that the individual's level of wisdom and maturity will dictate the relational consequences of the confrontation.  It's disappointing that some relationships will be destroyed over stupid mistakes that refuse to allow themselves to be corrected; however, if such circumstances arise, it's helpful to remember that the "friend" who's proved himself to be a "mocker" was perhaps not the best influence in your life anyway.

Finally, I think this Proverb presents a powerful introspective challenge:  What type of person am I, when I've made a mistake and need to be corrected?  Do I respond to such instances of rebuke with love, embracing them as opportunities to grow and develop?  Or do I respond to such instances of rebuke with anger and deflective defense mechanisms?  Am I responding as a mocker or as a wise man?  It's not about "enjoying" the act of being rebuked (very few people are able to generate happy emotions in the midst of being corrected).  It's about responding with measured consideration for the future.  I want to be a wise man with wise friends; thus, it's significant to think in terms of using situations of conflict and confrontation for long-term growth and development.