Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. (Proverbs 4:1)

I used to think I was pretty different from my Dad.  I was motivated differently and had different interests.  I enjoyed different types of food and entertainment.  To me, this gave the illusion of being truly unique or original.  Yes, I might end up falling into some of the same categories in life as my father -- but that was because I made up my own mind.  Individual, independent, original, unique.

But as time has passed and experiences have compiled, I've come to realize that that I'm a lot like my Dad.  And it's no accident or coincidence.  The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree.  I fall into a lot of the same patterns as my Dad for ministry, marriage, parenting, community involvement, and all kinds of things.  It's subconscious.  I don't even realize it until after the fact, a lot of times.  I'll be playing with my kids in a certain way -- which I honestly thought was an entirely original invention, combining horse and wrestling and tickling -- but then I'll find out that it's exactly the same thing that I used to love doing with my Dad when I was a child.  I'll get done arguing with my wife about something and realize, from a more detached, cooled-down perspective, that we had been playing the exact same roles as my Dad and Mom played in similar circumstances.  Have you ever had this experience?  It's kind of spooky, really.

I'm totally making up the numbers on this one, but as I've grown up and interacted with others about these things, I totally wouldn't be surprised if psychologists discovered that maybe 75% of our responses to various stimuli in life are direct mimicking of -- or deliberate reactions against -- the ways our parents used to do things.  I believe we really do spend our lives trying to live up to -- or make amends for -- the lives of our predecessors.

So it occurs to me -- both from life experience and from reading Proverbs 4 -- that my Dad actually has a lot of wisdom to offer me.  I've started appreciating my father's wisdom more in recent years.  I've started longing for it, too.  If I really am (subconsciously) patterning my own life after my father's life, doesn't it make sense that I would want to consult the older, wiser, more-experienced version of myself?!?  Wouldn't there be a lot to gain from checking in with someone who knows me pretty well and has an additional 25 years of life experience to boot?!?

I'm not suggesting a complete return to patriarchal society -- some sort of naive pining for the "good ol' days" like we read about in "Little House on the Prairie."  That's unrealistic and overboard.  But I am saying that our culture may be kind of throwing the baby out with the bathwater when we get up on our anti-patriarchal high-horse and bop to the old Baby-Boomer anthem about not trusting anyone over the age of 30.  Some may still ridiculously insist that "50 is the new 30" or "60 is the new 40" (I've seen the magazine headlines).  However, when the older generations can appreciate the wisdom of their years and reflect accordingly -- countering that exagerated pendulum-swing -- and when younger generations can pause and listen... We have an awful lot to gain from the exchange.