A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:13)

"Happy Heart" is a term that we've used a lot with our young children.  Our antonym is a "Grumpy Heart."  A kid will wake up grumpy and complainy:  "I don't WANT to go to school... I don't LIKE this kind of cereal... It's not FAIR that Cor (our toddler) doesn't have to go to school..." You get the idea.  We have a book by Judith Viorst that describes this type of phenomenon perfectly, and the title says it all:  "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."  Some days are just like that.  So we've tried to develop terminology that can help us to diagnose and treat this condition, which we call a "Grumpy Heart."  In that moment, we speak into the situation, "Child, it seems like you've got a bit of a Grumpy Heart this morning.  Do you think you can find your Happy Heart instead?"  Sometimes that's enough to snap them out of their spiral of disgust and despair.  But more often, it's the beginning of a process.

As flexible as children can often be, a Grumpy Heart is a difficult thing to overcome.  Time-Outs can help a little bit.  Conversation can help a little bit.  But the Grumpy Heart can be very persistent.  We'll be loading up to bike to school in the morning of a "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" and I'll have to continue reminding my children:  "You know, it's really up to YOU what kind of day you're going to have.  If you keep telling yourself and telling yourself that it's going to be a bad day, then it almost always will be a bad day for you.  But if you can find your Happy Heart and choose to be happy and hopeful, you're much more likely to have a good day."  When I say this, sometimes they'll just grump back at me.  Sometimes they'll have a whiney excuse...

But sometimes they'll listen.  And the discovery of one's Happy Heart is truly a magical process to behold.  It really does change a person from the inside out.  I like the old-fashioned word "countenance," which seems to suggest not a look on someone's face but also an entire demeanor or vibe coming off an individual.  And it's totally true that what's going on inside a person absolutely has an affect on a person's countenance.  I just looked up Proverbs 15:13 in the King James Version of the Bible, and indeed, the verse for today is all about countenance:  "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."

Our attitudes are not as objective or automatic as we often think them to be.  They have a lot to do with what we make of them.  If we can find our Happy Hearts, we can find joy in the most difficult of circumstances -- and joy keeps coming our way, as if drawn by magnetic forces.  On the other hand, if we choose to wallow in our heartache, we can be miserable in the most opulent and luxurious of circumstances.  Emotional impulses -- for sadness or anger, as well as for happiness or surprise -- are natural and unavoidable.  But what we do with those impulses is entirely up to us.  It would be nice if our parents were always close by, observing us and reminding us that we need to find our Happy Heart when we happen to get up on the wrong side of the bed, as we're eating breakfast, as we're riding off for the beginning of the day... But then again, we've got our Heavenly Father.  And we've got the Proverbs:  "A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit."  Do you think you can find your Happy Heart?