Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you (Proverbs 9:8).

Everyone makes mistakes.  Everyone needs to be corrected sometimes.  But how?  And by whom?  And under what circumstances?  There are, of course, no easy answers to any of these questions.  But Proverbs 9:8 does offer some useful advice for those situations when a bit of correction -- or rebuke -- might be needed...

First of all, who is the person needing correction?  Is he or she generally a mocker -- tending towards sarcasm, unchecked display of emotions, mean-spirited attitudes and actions towards others, chaotic behavior -- or generally wise?  If you purely had to guess how the person might respond in times of correction, this is usually a pretty good indicator.  Would you guess that he's going to fly off the handle, throw a temper-tantrum, start spewing counter-accusations back in your face?  Then you're probably dealing with a mocker.  Or would you guess that you'll be able to have a reasonable conversation that, though momentarily difficult, will ultimately serve to build your relationship?  Then you're probably dealing with a wise person.  We're far more intuitive on these things than we usually give ourselves credit for.  When you're dealing with a mocker, there's very little hope that a rebuke will make any bit of difference in their behavior -- so a lot of times, you're better off saving your breath.  But if you have hope that a well-considered rebuke will create better understanding, better interaction, and a better relationship -- then it's worth going for it, no matter how uncomfortable it might be in the short term.

Secondarily, it seems to me that there are also times where correction is required, regardless of how the affected individual will respond to it.  Think, for example, of a drunk driver -- who not only endangers his own life but the lives of countless others as well.  And in these cases, Proverbs 9:8 simply reminds us that the individual's level of wisdom and maturity will dictate the relational consequences of the confrontation.  It's disappointing that some relationships will be destroyed over stupid mistakes that refuse to allow themselves to be corrected; however, if such circumstances arise, it's helpful to remember that the "friend" who's proved himself to be a "mocker" was perhaps not the best influence in your life anyway.

Finally, I think this Proverb presents a powerful introspective challenge:  What type of person am I, when I've made a mistake and need to be corrected?  Do I respond to such instances of rebuke with love, embracing them as opportunities to grow and develop?  Or do I respond to such instances of rebuke with anger and deflective defense mechanisms?  Am I responding as a mocker or as a wise man?  It's not about "enjoying" the act of being rebuked (very few people are able to generate happy emotions in the midst of being corrected).  It's about responding with measured consideration for the future.  I want to be a wise man with wise friends; thus, it's significant to think in terms of using situations of conflict and confrontation for long-term growth and development.