A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Proverbs 29:11).

Have you ever seen (or been caught up in) a really vicious e-mail war?  They're absolutely brutal.  Messages fly back and forth, piling up in stacks, each new reply more heated than the last... It's not pretty.  I'm not exactly sure why electronic arguments can be so much more brutal than other types of arguments -- but they are.  If I had to guess, though, it probably has something to do with the lack of non-verbal communication and the element of isolation that comes into play with most electronic dialogue.  Something about the lack of non-verbals (tone, body language, etc.) makes miscommunication far more likely; and when we're raging against a computer screen (not a human face or voice), we tend to say things in a less humane way -- spilling out accusations and insinuations that we would rarely think about saying in a face-to-face interaction.  Also because we access these electronic conversations through our personal computers and mobile devices, personal attacks can feel a lot more invasive, like, "Who the hell do you think you are, coming into my home, coming into my life, and saying these horrible, hurtful things about me?!?!"  I don't know.  Maybe I'm overanalyzing things here.  Maybe these theories are total bunk.  All I know for sure is that e-mail wars are brutal, devestating, and almost always regrettable.

So the next time I see an e-mail war unfolding in front of me, I'm going to have to remind myself to read Proverbs chapter 29 (and I might as well recommend the same practice for any believer who might find himself or herself in similar circumstances).  It's more than just verse 11, as listed above.  It's throughout the whole chapter.  Verse 8 says, "Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger."  Verse 11, of course, says, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."  Verse 19 speaks to the inherrent futility of strictly verbal exchanges:  "A servant cannot be corrected by mere words; though he understands, he will not respond."  Verse 20 helps to remind us to pace ourselves, saying, "Do you see a man who speaks in haste?  There is more hope for a fool than for him."  Verse 22 says, "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins."  And verse 23 says, "A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor."  It's all incredible wisdom for times of strife and inflamed emotions, like we so commonly find in e-mail wars.

To me, verse 11 sums it up the best:  A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."  And to keep ourselves under control, I would suggest that we simply need to find a way to lengthen our fuses -- or to stamp out the sparked end of the fuse all-together.  The next time we see an e-mail war erupting, we need to remind ourselves:  "Don't take the bait!"  Instead, let's remind ourselves to take a deep breath, keep ourselves under control (repeating Solomon's Tribal Chant for Patience, as needed), and reach for the 29th chapter of Proverbs, offering us life-saving, fuse-lengthening wisdom for every conflict situation.