A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping (Proverbs 19:13).

I suppose one could read Proverbs 19:13 and envision the "man of the house" -- the father / husband -- as something of a morally-neutral party, victimized by his "foolish son" and "quarrelsome wife."  Perhaps we should feel sorry for him.  Perhaps he's supposed to be the one "good guy" in a household of tragic characters, and his situations is thus tragically lamentable.

But then again, could it be that it's the man's own fault?

I mean, what are the causes of a "foolish son?"  What are some of the most notable contributing factors?  If we are to believe the rest of Solomon's Proverbs, foolish children are very often the result of foolish parenting!  When a parent disciplines his children, he conditions them to avoid folly (Proverbs 22:15) and gives them hope for the future (Proverbs 19:18).  But if this discipline is neglected or withheld (Proverbs 23:13), the child is set up for a lifetime of failure and folly.  So maybe the "foolish son" of Proverbs 19:13 is a result, not a cause, of a bigger problem.

Likewise, what are the causes of a "quarrelsome wife?"  What might some of the most notable contributing factors be?  Again, if we are to believe the rest of Solomon's Proverbs, it would seem that a quarrelsome wife is very often the result of an inattentive, inconsiderate, and quarrelsome husband!  Strife (and particularly marital strife) is not just a one-sided affair; on the contrary, it's more often fed or provoked or agitated.  Couples are meant to act in love toward one another, not vengeance or grudges -- even if it means overlooking an offense (Proverbs 17:9).  Disputes almost always break out because someone is unwilling to drop a particular issue, to their own detriment (Proverbs 17:14).  Or say you're living with a fool who "finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions" (Proverbs 18:2):  Wouldn't this drive you -- or any reasonable person -- into quarrelsome behavior?!?  So again, isn't it entirely possible that the "quarrelsome wife" of Proverbs 19:13 is a result, not a cause, of a bigger problem?

In the end, it's hard to say who's really responsible for the "ruin" and "constant dripping" of Proverbs 19:13.  But it's challenging to look at the situation from different angles and consider all the possible implications.  As a husband and father, I feel convicted to examine this verse as potential indictment of my own life, as much as that of my wife or sons (or daughter).  And I imagine that most families would benefit from each individual starting to deal with difficult situations by having a talk with the person in the mirror.