Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe (Proverbs 29:25).

The Proverb addresses one of the most foundational struggles in my life.  I am, by nature, a people-pleaser.  I want others to like me, to agree with me, to validate me.  My decisions can sometimes be motivated by the opinions of others around me (though I don't like to admit it).  As much as I've matured through the years, I still feel ridiculously attached to the approval of others -- not so different from school children desperate for a literal thumbs-up sign from their classmates (meaning, "Yes, I am your friend; I like you") and despondant if they should ever get the dreaded thumbs-down (meaning, "No, we're not friends; I don't like you").  All of these things can basically be summed up in the biblical phrase, "fear of man."

Fear of man is something that I've dealt with for years.  And it's something that I've definitely discovered to be a snare.

The problem with fear of man is that it really does create an impossible situation.  As Abraham Lincoln once said:  "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time."  Pleasing people is the same as fooling people -- and Abraham Lincoln, by the way, is one who should know about the impossibility of fooling and/or pleasing others (I'd highly recommend the biography, "Team of Rivals" by Doris Kearns Goodwin for anyone who might regularly deal with the fear of man).  It really is impossible to get the "thumbs-up" from everyone for anything but the most fleeting of moments.  And if you believe anything otherwise, you are stepping into a trap.  A snare.

The antidote to fear of man -- the escape from the snare, if you will -- is trusting in the LORD.  When I remember that God's opinion of me is the only one that truly matters, then I am free to make decisions out of principle instead of popularity.  It can be remarkably freeing.  I started my process of recovering from the fear of man (a process which still continues, even today) by reading and memorizing Bible verses that spoke to my identity as a dearly-loved child of God (Ephesians 5:1-2) and as a conqueroring hero (Romans 8:37).  I started to understand that with the LORD as my shepherd, I didn't need to concern myself with others' opinions of me -- I didn't have to want for anything other than God's approval (Psalm 23).  These are just a few of the many verses that helped me to develop a trust in the LORD which eventually grew to supercede my fear of man.  And then, after a biblical foundation had been established, I started to find myself in real-world situations in which the right decision to make -- the principly-based decision, following God's will -- put me in direct opposition with what other people wanted from me or expected from me.  I had to start testing the waters by disappointing others and getting the "thumbs-down" at times, while observing that God still sustained me -- and indeed blessed me when I trusted in Him instead of fearing man.  As life experienced built up and compounded their lessons in my life, trusting in the LORD felt like the more natural thing to do.  More and more, today, I'm content to navigate the tricky terrain of public opinion by depending on God and avoiding the fear of man.

It's still a challenge in my life.  Sometimes a daily challenge.  But God is faithful to complete the work that He has started in me (Philippians 1:6).  And the same holds true for anyone who would choose to step out of the snare of fearing man and into the waiting, protective arms of the LORD.