Better is open rebuke than hidden love (Proverbs 27:5).

Why is open rebuke better than hidden love?  Is there something wrong with being a secret admirer?  To me, it seems like the world needs just about as much love as it can get -- whether expressed or concealed.  I have a hard time seeing the harm in hidden love, and I certainly can't imagine preferring an open rebuke!  I feel like I would much rather go through the day with a world full of people who love me but feel like they have to keep it hidden -- as opposed to going through the day with a world full of people who may or may not love me but feel completely at liberty to rebuke me openly whenever the occasion might present itself.  Isn't that the way that most people would feel?  However, Proverbs 27:5 says it plain as day:  "Better is open rebuke than hidden love."

So why is open rebuke better than hidden love?  Is it maybe a courage thing?  Both rebuking someone and expressing love to someone take a lot of courage.  Either one is a very vulnerable thing to do.  So maybe Proverbs 27:5 is primarily concerned with reinforcing the value of courage.  Open rebuke demonstrates courage; hidden love does not.  And certainly for the person with the feelings to be shared, it's better for them to develop courage in expressing those feelings -- even if it's disappointment or anger, instead of admiration and affection.  Better is open rebuke than hidden love?  But what about the other person involved:  the person who is either being rebuked or being secretly admired?  Is open rebuke really better than hidden love for that other person?  And shouldn't we always be thinking about how our words and actions affect other people (and not just selfishly doing whatever is best for us, personally)?  I can see how open rebuke is better than hidden love for the rebuker/lover -- but Proverbs 27:5 doesn't seem to split this hair.  It doesn't differentiate between the feeler and the object of the emotion.  It just makes an overall blanket statement:  "Better is open rebuke than hidden love."

So why is open rebuke better than hidden love?  Is it a commitment thing?  It requires a degree of commitment to either rebuke someone or to express love to someone.  If there's no commitment in the act of rebuke, then there's no real power or effect; the rebuke will ultimately be blown off or perhaps even counter-productive.  And likewise, if there's no commitment in the act of love, then there's no real power or effect; it always remains a vague, dreamish possibility which often does more harm than good.  So maybe Proverbs 27:5 is primarily concerned with reinforcing the value of commitment.  Open rebuke demonstrates commitment; hidden love does not.  And this seems to be something that would benefit both parties involved, if there could be that requisite level of commitment.  Commitment builds trust and relationship and community.  Lack-of-commitment creates insecurity, isolation, and ignorance.  So by all accounts, if we look at things in this light, it makes sense when Proverbs 27:5 says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love."

It still feels a bit counter-intuitive to say that open rebuke is better than hidden love.  It still raises questions in my mind.  But this is the mark of a good Proverb, I think -- one that's worth considering and kicking around in one's mind.  why is open rebuke better than hidden love?  Why should I believe what this Proverb is telling me?  I believe that there is a deeper wisdom within the Proverbs that transcends the "because I told you so" way of looking at Scripture.  And if we can get to that deeper layer of understanding, our lives will be that much richer.  Think about it:  "Better is open rebuke than hidden love."  What could that mean for you?  How might you need to adapt your life to conform to this wisdom?  It may take courage, and it may take commitment -- but it's better that way.