Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of the wicked, for the evil man has no future hope, and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out (Proverbs 24:19-20).

I spend too much time fretting and envying.  I fret about my work, my kids, my image, my artistic endeavors.  I fret about being on-time, about keeping my responsibilities, about living up to my self-imposed expectations of myself.  I fret about finding my place in this world.  And consequently, I wish for something else, to do bigger and better things, to be a bigger and better person.  I envy people who have made a name for themselves, who have built their own empires, who have "made it big."  I envy people who can play sports for a living, or write books for a living.  I envy people who have established themselves as being "indispensible" to any given field of expertise.  Suffice to say:  I spend too much time fretting and envying.  I can even find myself fretting about how much I tend to fall into fretting and envying -- thus envying those who can be more "carefree" and aloof!

I'm such an idiot.  A fretful, envious, anxious, anal, anti-productive idiot.

The whole game is short-sighted and foolish.  I'm not really even paying attention to the people who I'm so ardently envying!  I don't really notice the ways that their lives are imperfect and incomplete.  The moral component of such ambitions are disregarded to the point that I'm the one who's becoming sinful.  I'm building my sense of identity and purpose, not on faith in Jesus, but rather on insecurity and temporal objectives.  And any misplacement of priorities along these lines affects my future prospects, my ultimate hopes, and my influence and example -- my lamp, if you will -- for future generations.  So I need the wake-up call of Proverbs 24:19-20, to force my attention back to the realities of life.  I need to pause, reassess, repent of my sinful tendencies towards fretting and envying, and move back to simple, day-by-day faith in God and faithfulness in the opportunities and responsibilities set in front of me, one day at a time.