He who answers before listening -- that is his folly and his shame (Proverbs 18:13).

Our family was hosting a group of friends for dinner. Without even thinking about it, we fell into Dutch as our language for the evening -- which I actually considered to be a positive development, given the fact that Marci and I were still on the upward curve of our language acqusition process at the time (two or three years following our move to Amsterdam)... Of course I made a lot of linguistic mistakes throughout the evening. A misused word here, a poorly-constructed sentence there... You know, normal stuff for any foreigner.  But mostly, I was holding my own.  Nevertheless, as the evening wore on, I became increasingly frustrated by my linguistic handicap.   I prided myself on the ability to effectively articulate his thoughts in his first language (English) -- so after a little while of speaking an adopted language and letting the mistakes add up over time, I started to feel, well, kind of embarassed and self-conscious.

When the time came for dessert -- or, "nagerecht" as it's said in Dutch -- I overheard someone in the group made an off-the-cuff remark about our dessert for the evening -- saying something like "I hope that it's not so fluid (vloeibaar) by now."  In reality, this remark was made because it was a warm day and someone had brought ice cream... However, I didn't hear "fluid" (vloeibaar), but rather "fluent" (vloeiend) , and since I hadn't picked up on the fact that our dessert was the subject of the comment -- I jumped to the conclusion that I was beign mocked for my Dutch deficiencies! So I asked defensively: "Well then, what should I say?!?" as I assumed that I'd mistakenly used the wrong word for dessert (nagerecht). "Would you prefer that I call it a toestje?!?"

To my great chagrin, everyone in the room really started to laugh at this comment -- because there is no such word in the Dutch language as "toestje." It was clear to everyone that I intended to use another Dutch word for an after-dinner treat, "toetje," (with no "s" in the middle), but in the midst of my defensiveness I actually fell victim to the very presumption that had caused my self-conscious outburst! Everyone laughed, and discussion ensued regarding the best Dutch translation of the word "dessert" -- of course, you could say "toetje," (but not "toestje!")... The French loan-word "dessert" (pronounced like the French "day-sayrt") could also work... And then someone brightened, saying that actually a really good Dutch word to use in such a situation would be (you guessed it) "nagerecht." I, of course, protested: "But that's the word I used in the first place!"

Finally we realized the misunderstanding that had taken place -- to my folly and shame -- and we were all able to laugh together. But not before we learned an important lesson about how the little things that can create the biggest misunderstandings. And "He who answers before listening -- that is his folly and his shame."  At least I can laugh about it now...