He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray (Proverbs 10:17).

AUGUST 23
It starts tomorrow!  After years of study, dozens of job interviews, and weeks of classroom preparation, it's finally time to actually start teaching!  Of course, I'm a little bit nervous, but I'm excited to create an environment for Learning through Love.  This is what it's all been building up to, isn't it?

AUGUST 24
Long first day, but celebrating small victories on the load road to Empowering Education.  You could just see and feel the joy in the kids' hearts when I explained to them the philosophy behind Learning through Love.  They just kept looking at each other and smiling.  During the course of the day, many of them started acting out -- no doubt testing the sincerity of my commitment to "No to Punishment, Yes to Love" -- but I held my ground and dished out as much praise and affirmation to the cooperative children as possible, while ignoring the destructive antics of the troubled children.  The principal expressed some concerns at the end of the day, relating to some of the property damage that had occurred during the times when the kids were acting out; but I say, "What are our real priorities here?!?"  We can replace books and desks and pencil-sharpeners, can't we?  But we cannot replace the innocence and tentative tendrils of trust in the heart of a child who is desperate for someone to nurture him, encourage him, and love him!  When I said something along these lines to the principal, he just raised a suspicious eyebrow and said something about working within a limited budget and making sure that I can keep control in the classroom.  But that's just the point, isn't it?  It's not about control; it's about love!  I know that he meant well, and I took advantage of the opportunity to affirm him in his leadership and tell him that I appreciated his advice... But I still feel, deep within my soul, that what these kids need is love.  At the end of the day, I made a point to look each individual student in the eyes as they filed out of the room and say "I love you" with complete sincerity; and I could just tell they were really impacted by it.

AUGUST 25
An even longer day of Learning through Love... I'm totally whooped and ready for bed (even though it's only nine o'clock!).  But, so help me God, I'm not going to stop loving those children...

AUGUST 26
Tried intensive hug therapy for the first time today.  I never knew that a sixth-grader could be so strong!  But fortunately, I still had enough of a strength and size advantage that I was able to hold Mark Griffenmeier in a firm Embrace of Acceptance for the full three minutes.  He didn't like it very much at the time (obvious from the kicking and squirming!) -- but I'm confident that an important message was sent today:  both to Mark and to the rest of the class.  The bigger problem is that someone went and told the principal about our intensive hug therapy session, and now the principal is on my case about the "dangers of sexual harrassment."  Please!!!  How sick has our society become that an intensive hug therapy session might be perceived as sexual harrassment?!?  In any event, it looks like I might have to come up with some kind of substitute for the intensive hug therapy.  It's probably just as well, though -- feeling the soreness and bruising that I got from Mark today.  And besides, I think the rest of the class was immediately jealous of the love and acceptance lavished on Mark for those three minutes -- because they really acted out during those three minutes.  When the principal sees what they did to the tall cabinet in the back of the room, he's really going to lay into me... But I think this is all a part of the cost of Learning through Love.  I'm beginning to see that this might be a long year of loving... But what else can I do?!?  "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many months of struggle and suffering... Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."  If Churchill could do it in war and diplomacy, then by golly I can do it in Learning through Love!

SEPTEMBER 12
Haven't been able to write an update for a couple of weeks -- and I don't see much opportunity to do it now, either.  I've got a screaming headache, just like I have every night for the last two weeks.  And I feel like I'm going to cry, just sitting here and thinking about my class.  Suffice to say:  this whole Learning through Loving thing is a lot more challenging than I had hoped it might be.  I have to keep reminding myself that Thanksgiving Break is only two-and-a-half months away...

DECEMBER 6
Thanksgiving Break just wasn't long enough.  Hope to write more during Christmas Break...

DECEMBER 20
The principal suggested that I take a leave of absence starting in the New Year -- basically not coming back after Christmas Break -- and honestly, I'm OK with that.  These kids are just not open for love.  It pains me to write that -- and simply to realize it -- but I also see that I have nothing left to give.  What will I do next?  I don't know.  But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.