A fool spurns his father's discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence (Proverbs 15:5).

When I was in my second year of high school -- around 16 years old -- I went out for the school's tennis team.  I hadn't really grown up playing tennis, so I had a lot to learn that year.  I would often get frustrated with myself for a lack of control or a lower "instinctive IQ" at what to do in game situations (as compared to my teammates or most of my opponents).  As a result, I developed a habit of cursing myself whenever I made a bad play.  I'd shout "Idiot!" or "Crap!" or "I suck!"  Pretty mild expletives, actually, but I'd do it all the time throughout the course of a match.  Every point I lost, I'd curse myself anew.  There was no real strategy or rationale behind it, really; it was just a habit that I developed.  To tell the truth, most of the time I was barely aware of the fact that I was doing it.

One day, my Dad came to watch a match on our team's home courts.  Spectators were few and far between (as you might expect for a high school tennis competition in rural Ohio); consequently, my Dad was able to stand right at center court, right on the outside of the chain-link fence that surrounded the playing area.  I honestly cannot remember much about the match itself that day -- not even if I won or lost the match -- but what I do recall is the conversation I had with my Dad later, talking about the match.  In particular, he made the observation that I spent an awful lot of time and energy cursing myself throughout the match.  I remember him specifically mentioning the number of times that I said "crap."  And basically, he suggested that I might want to try and curb that habit a bit.  I don't remember all his reasons for making this suggestion, but I can imagine it had something to do with positive self-talk and with just generally learning to control my mouth.  Looking back at the situation, his counsel made sense -- and I would probably say the same things to my own children in such circumstances.  Furthermore, I can't imagine my Dad even took that much of a disciplinary tone for this conversation about my use of the word "crap."  He was always a pretty patient parent.

However, regardless of the intentions behind my Dad's counsel, I did not appreciate his "interference" one bit at the time.  I was furious, in fact.  I felt like he didn't sympathize with me enough in my frustrations and instead just placed one more demand on me.  I felt like he was getting all "Conservative Baptist" on me... And I wondered what the big deal was anyway -- I mean, it wasn't like I was using any actual "swear words" in my cries of frustration!  Suffice to say, I spurned my father's discipline.  I did not heed his correction.

Consequently, folly followed me for several years after I was done with the high school tennis team.  Into my 20s, and even into my 30s, I dealt with a good deal of insecurity rooted in my self-destructive internal dialogue.  When I was playing sports, building relationships, doing home-repair projects, learning to be a father -- I was extremely susceptible to negative thought patterns that could develop into a viscious cycle of defeat and discouragement.  It's really only been the last few years that I've learned to stop these patterns of self-deprecation in my life... even though my Dad was basically trying to help teach me that, way back, half a lifetime ago.  I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I would have listened to him way back then.  Why do we have these tendencies to ignore or resent our parents' advice (particularly as teenagers)?!?  Until we can accept the wisdom that they have to bring to bear on our lives, we're going to have to deal with a lot of crap in the meantime.