Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart (Proverbs 25:20).

When I was about ten years old, I read a science book that suggested I could make my own volcano out of papier mache and clay, and then I could create a real-life eruption by mixing together a bit of vinegar with a bit of baking soda (plus some orange food coloring to give it the color of lava, too).  As soon as I read about this experiment, I knew that I had to try it.  When it all came together, and I sorted out just the right mix of the two active elements, the results of the experiment did not disappoint.  Something in the chemistry of those two ingredients caused a real reaction:  a hissing, foaming, bubbling eruption that spilled over the top of the volcano and down the mountain's sides.  It was great fun for a pre-pubescent boy.

Years later, however, I discovered that the same principles applied from chemistry to human emotion and relational dynamics are not nearly as fun.  In fact, such emotional chemistry can be disastrous.  The hissing, foaming, and bubbling of an emotional eruption is painful and caustic.  I notice it happening primarily in the context of inappropriate responses to emotional stimuli.  A man who's very angry, for instance, does not have much of a sense of humor in the moment of his fury; a joke or a hug in that moment will be seen more as a provocation than as a pacification.  Or a woman who is pouring her heart out to the man she loves, fighting through tears and desperation, she does not want to be reasoned with -- and certainly does not want to get a defensive blame-shifting argument in response.  I know these things from personal experience. :-)

One of the worst, most inappropriate, combinations of emotions is someone trying to "cheer up" a heavy-hearted person with a sense of put-upon, over-the-top, artificial cheerfulness.  Smiles, songs, and dances have no place among the depressed.  Someone might try to sing Mary Poppins' "Spoon Full of Medicine" to a person struggling with sadness and anger -- but forget to realize that even Mary Poppins had the sense to meet gravity with gravity and only start singing when the circumstances allowed it.  However good the intentions might be, such antics only pour salt in the wounds.  They only sprinkle soda on the vinegar.

It's all well and good if you're trying to use chemistry to your advantage in an elementary school science project; but when it comes to building friendships and meaningfully supporting someone in need, experimentation with that sort of emotional science is just plain madness.